Liftmen: Men who don't really lift.

So here's a thought. Another thought.
The concept of the liftman or liftmen.

When you have lived in one place for too long, you start reading into the little things around you. You start thinking and pondering and questioning and wondering.

Not like i've been in one place for forever. I have moved around here and there and everywhere.

But anyway, in this place, in this country, there exists the concept of the liftman. He (and it will always be a "he", you wont ever find a liftwoman) is the one who sits in the lift/elevator of a residential or commercial building and he is the one who is the nominal in-charge of the lift. Meaning that, you cant or shouldn't press the button to the floor you would like to reach, you have to tell him where your destination in that building is. His job is to press the button and take you there.

What's funny about this concept is, is that it's actually considered a job. Well anyway, India is a country of masses, many many many masses, and it's probably perhaps maybe a good thing that we have jobs like this to cater to everyone's possibility of being employed.

What's also funny is that, even if a lift is just about the size of an aeroplane's toilet, the liftman shall and always will stand around guarding his right to the lift and pressing the buttons for you.

What's funny is that, from morning to evening, he sits there, waiting for you and me to drop by and tell him which floor we would like to go to and then he will press the button and lift you up and come back down. His office is the lift. He sits there. Sometimes eats there. I'm sure he doesn't shower there but who knows, with the development of technology maybe one day he will land up doing just that. That is, if he does shower ever at all. Yes, it's true, sometimes, due to the claustrophobic nature of indian lifts, they kind of emit a strange smell. I'm not confirming that this is due to our friend the lift man. But...it's always a possibility.

Sometimes these liftmen are friendly and could throw you a smile in greeting. But most times, they tend to look through you (as is common in India anyway since we're all strangers and were told not to ever talk to strangers here). They will sometimes help you if your new to "their" building and lift and try to ease your unease at finding your destination and floor. But, usually, if you don't know your way around in a building, even if it's your first time, you're better off if you just figure it out or try google earth! Cause, well, sometimes liftmen can throw you these strange glances when you ask them a question and it leaves you feeling a tad bit like a silly human.

There's this one building i frequent often. It has 4 lifts. Each lift has 2 liftmen. And they work in shifts. Now that's funny enough. Noting that their working day is a routine day job, they yet have shifts for handling their assigned lift! It's actually quite amazing and more amusing. Fortunately, the lifts in this frequented building are not the size of an aeroplane's toilet but, the liftmen's attitude are. These lift men think they own the lifts, they have this insatiable urge to package as many people as they possibly can into the elevator and make us feel like sardine cans. With no air. Claustrophobia could have originated because of this! Maybe it did!

This lift i speak of and it's liftmen should be experienced by one and all. They're so deep into their job of parcelling us all off together, it leaves us wondering what the point of having 4 lifts in total really is. Use the other 3 lifts, god damit, and give us some air to breathe!!! Aaaaa! The nuances of crowds.

At some point through this lift raising scenario, i thought of using the stairs. Although my destined floor was one of the upper most floors <13th to be precise>, i yet thought of the stairs as the GREAT escape because it could beat the stuffed up effect of being stuck in the middle of 12000 (it always seems like 12000 people in that lift) people who i didn't know, definitely didn't like and surely would never want to know. I'm sure all us lift "buddies" felt the same way about each other.

Another option i came up with was to start arriving at strange hours (very very early) and leave (very very late) so that i wouldn't need to deal with the tragedy of an overly crowded lift during the "normal" hours. But alas, i soon realised that the lifts don't start working until the liftmen are there. And true to their government employee nature, they would never, NEVER dream of starting/ "opening" their office is earlier than usual or anything of the sort.

And no, a non-lift man is not allowed to start the elevators. Cause they apparently have these keys to turn it off and on!!! Yes, yes, it's a treasure the lift actually , apparently , at least for the caretakers of the building. They need KEYS!

So well anyway. The concept of the liftman. Strange when found in literally, maybe and truly almost all residential and commercial buildings in India.
I've travelled around. I've had the fairness of using elevators the world over without the "help" and "assistance" of a lift man. It's been a great, a marvellous feeling in fact, to be able to to do that.

Back here though, i'm not allowed to. Cause i'm not the liftman.

I wonder sometimes what their real use is. Doesn't it get boring to go up and come back down like a million times a day, using the same route! And the same lift! Doesn't it get gratifyingly boring!!!! I would love to ask them sometime, but i'd rather not, well at least till i find a seemingly friendly one someday! I also wonder if we need liftmen. Are we that incapable of using lifts on our own? Are we that..what do they call it ... dumb? That we need liftmen!!!?!

But anyhow, the concept of the liftmen is well adopted here. Of course, you find liftmen in other places too, but not in the same scope of work or way. It's very different elsewhere.
It's more like a national need to use liftmen here. One wont not find one wherever one goes.

Superamazing would be, me getting my own lift from now on. yeah, i dropped the idea of a fancy car or bike for a lift cause, well, you know, well, the crowds, the nonsense related to being tightly packed in, squeezed in is not nice. At all.

Hmmm, maybe i can make me one of those portable elevators.... now that's fancy.