Perfect is just a perception

When it comes to love, I can’t say that I am a believer of the way the concept is widely and wildly followed the world over. To me, love is a feeling which can come about when any 2 people spend quality time together. Try it. Lock 2 mismatched individuals in a room for days...and see for yourself. The chances of love growing is high.

It is a fact that only humans believe so strongly in love. Animals, don’t. People believe in the concept of soul mates and the ideal match. They keep looking for the right person to share their life with. Sometimes they spend their lives searching.

I have heard of several touching stories where a man or woman has had only that one main love in life. Someone who they considered to be their own. And who, in the event of their death, they found it difficult to live for the rest of their natural life. But, these are just touching stories. The belief I follow is that, if someone is willing to give you a chance and see the real you, love happens. It can happen when you don’t expect it. It happens when you least plan it. And if you allow yourself to see the concept in a different light, you will soon realize that it is not entirely possible to love different people for different things.

The search for the perfect someone makes you lonelier. No one is perfect. In fact, perfection is just a perception. What’s perfect in my eyes will never be a 100% perfect in yours.

Imagine a world where people really lived by this belief. There’d be lesser unhappy mortals suffering from the self-inflicted pains of feeling lonely.

The story of my life till now includes just 2 loves if I go by the book version of love. The first man, I loved for about 3 years of my life. The second, for 2 and a half. Neither of the relationships blossomed to turn into anything great. But, I got to know them and I enjoyed every day that I spent with them.

I married a completely different person eventually. He is unlike me in every way. But, it’s the understanding of each others dislikes and likes of life that make the relationship see another day. I don’t know if this will last forever. In the end, nothing does, because nothing can. But, it’s the time you have. With whoever you meet. That should be the essence of it all.

The point is, stop looking for perfection. Everyone is great. In their own way. If you only open your eyes wider to actually see it.

Down comes the rain

Down comes the rain, untimely October rain.
The tears slowly poured down my face as I walked home beneath the October rain,

The fears slowly let go of my pain, as I cried with my heart, cause my spirit was in disdain.

The gears of my life suddenly picked up great pace, as I vowed to love harder and again,

My heart grew numb, with a great big pain, I slowly try to let go… as I walk in the rain.

Look at the sky.. the stars in the night,

Look at me mother, the tears in my eyes,

I cry for you Father, cause you cant ever hold me tight,

The love that you gave me,

Gone with you this time.


I look at my dreams,

Down comes the rain,

I walk with my heart,

Trying to let go of the pain.


I seek a new light, A new spirit and life,

I’m happy to have loved, than to have not loved at all.


I stroll across the bridge,

I see kittens within my sight,


New born life’s, that’s the circle of life.

The rain pours down,

Drenching me and I try,

To let go of the pain,

That I’ve borne inside.


Down comes the rain,

Untimely October rain.


White light and stars,

Like tears in my eyes.

Forsaken love,

Like dew in morning light.


And again down comes the rain, untimely October rain.

A touching poem

A touching poem jointly written by 2 people : 1 army officer's mother and the other who is an army officer's wife...
.by Paromah Sen on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 9:24pm.


Please Mr. Terrorist man, don’t shoot my man, we just got married, sometime last Jan.

I met him on a sunny day, there were clear blue skies on that lovely day,

Please don’t shoot him and take him away.

------****

Please Mr. Terrorist man, don’t shoot my son, I have only one, I beg you, don’t take him away.

He joined the army, just like his dad.

He joined to save his country, please don’t make him a news fad.

------****

Please Mr. Terrorist man, don’t shoot my man, when we got married, sometime last Jan,

He took me to his unit, somewhere close to you, a place called Mamoon,

Told me to stay there and that he’d be back soon.

I spent a long time sitting, whiling my time away, the loneliness killing me, eating me away.

I thought of you and what you do, I thought of you and hated you,

But that’s no reason to shoot my man, I beg you to spare him Mr. Terrorist man.

------****

Please Mr. Terrorist man, don’t shoot my son, It’s just that he doesn’t like anyone who,

Would make his country a fool. You fight for a different cause and kill the wrong ones.

But my son is just a pawn in the play, just a soldier, don’t kill him for heaven’s sake.

------****

Please Mr. Terrorist man, I don’t know what else to say,

We’ve moved from where you are but life still isn’t stable for me anyway.

Because of you and others like you, he can be called to the border anyday,

Every 2 years I have to let him leave me to fight people like you away.

It’s a cycle in this army life, tell me, how can I be a happy and calm army wife?

------****

Please Mr. Terrorist man, here my pleas, I love my son, I will, till my end,

Without him, I’d be a dent. You’ve already taken his father from me, Left me alone, to my grief,

Listen to this new wife please; spare her the pain and agony.

And please don’t take my son from me.

------****



Written jointly by 2 people: 1 is an army officer's mother and the 2nd is an army officer's wife.

The Bag theory

Ever seen a woman without a handbag as her constant companion? If you have it’d have been a very one-off, rare occasion.
Women of every generation usually and mostly tend to and want to carry around a little or big thing called a handbag with them wherever they go, even if it’s for a walk… (Remember those small little bags where they put their phones and a few currency notes into)….?
I like bags; I am a woman, more of a girl. And the idea of a bag-less journey anywhere terrifies me. And I think most women are the same...it’s like a biological “need” to carry one lip balm / other face-coloring items / some money / and a bunch of useless other things ALL the time.
I always wondered about this. Until I came upon one of my own theories. This bag-theory suggests that the SIZE of a woman’s bag could define the baggage (I don’t mean physical weight of the baggage) but mental and emotional baggage a woman carries around with her,
The bigger the bag, the bigger the emotional nonsense inside her and the smaller the bag, the smaller would be the size of her feelings of hate and regret and similar others.

Ideally then as per this theory: a completely “chilled out” woman would be one who doesn’t carry a bag, at all. Ever. Hmmm. Makes sense?
I would like to make this theory scientific, but, since I’m not a scientist I don’t think that’s quite possible.

This takes me to the subject of men. Since they don’t carry bags in general (unless they are students or office goers) does this theory apply to them? I mean, does it mean that they never have baggage of any kind (and I don’t mean physical bag here). A wallet – small bag – same thing?

No. Men don’t pass off as ones without baggage; I would like to think that there is another object around which their mental and emotional baggage content can be quantified. But I’d need some months of research for this and well, till then let’s just say that a bag a day keeps the "baggage" safe.

The Wagah Border

“The Wagah Border”.
-.C.S. (Chetana Sharma)

Enough has been spoken about the wagah. But in effect do the people of the nation really know what it’s all about to visit the wagah and to be part of the border’s daily evening parade? Don’t think so. For most indians, going abroad for a visit or holiday is the IT thing. Indians are probably the only people who ape everything else besides their own grounds and people and it’s a wonder to watch this increase everyday.
I knew about the wagah’s daily evening ceremony but i never really went to see it until a few weeks ago. A sudden trip to Amritsar and to the wagah to watch the evening guard-change ceremony made me, for the 1st time in my life feel overly patriotic and proud to be an Indian, and as i stood on the Indian side of “my” country watching my Pakistani counterparts cheer their nation on with probably the same emotions i wondered deeply what the fuss between the 2 of us was really about. A piece of land. To put it simply. And alot of ego’s thrown in.
Living within the army and military these past few years/months and working in the army in the background has made me open my till-now shut eyes. A metropolitan life can give you what you think you need, it’s only the wonders of travel and new experiences and cultures that can actually give you satisfaction.
Entering the wagah area means security checks at every 5 m or so, you cant have a bag with you, nor water, nor nothing. Just 1 camera, if at all. A long line and several frisks later you can enter the seating points from where you can watch the guard-change ceremony. Which of course involves both sides of the border forces loudly challenging whilst screaming their own respective nation’s slogans mixed with a smart soldier march mixed with the taking down of both the nation’s flags. One can feel, deeply, the patriotism on both sides. Indian and Pakistan are so close but still so far apart. It’s a big let down to watch this, live this and see this but not be able to do anything about it. As a freedom fighter’s grand-daughter, it kind of hurts, to see 2 nations now in place of one that was.
And of course the people (the majority people) of India dont feel the pain anymore because the fight between Ind and Pak has gone on for far too long now. Time makes one indifferent, usually.
Internal conflicts within an India will continue, one can co-exist , but there are just too many different cultures and beliefs to coexist peacefully. Every community, minority will eventually want their own state to show case an identity that each will be made to feel they are loosing because of the diversities in the cultures. Together as one can happen , possibly, if people know how to hold on to their beliefs without needing to justify or impose it on the face of others!
The wagah experience made me feel happy in the sense of peaceful happy, if that makes any sense, considering the situation the 2 neighbours live in. It’s a puzzle in itself.

p.s: If you would like some original pictures of the Wagah ceremony, please feel free to ask me for them.

Facebook and Social Networking - Whose watching?

Just this other day , i was spending time with a friend , bringing in her birthday. The usual trend to "bring in" a birthday is to wait around till midnight of the night before the actual B-day... So, at around 11ish Pm , we all just sat around having a couple of drinks trying to stay up long enough to "bring it in".

Just around then was when little Miss Birthday girl got all excited about who all would have already wished her on her Facebook profile page! I mean, come on! What about the couple of her friends who actually waited around to be "present" with her as opposed to the hundred others on her friends list who just wished her - online? With one singular : Happy Birthday phrase!

But, to be honest is to accept the fact & reality that these days, the number of people wishing you on your social networking site's profile page plays a far more dearer role probably than the few friends who actually take the time to make you feel special by being around you on a special occasion.

Not only birthdays, these days, everything is public and on a profile page. Your anniversary. Your Husband's birthday, The day your dog was brought home, everything.
Life as we know it, is a profile page on a networking site.

The truth is, even if we reach the limit of a 1000+ "friends" or "connections" on any of these social network sites, in real life, hardly more than a few matter or care or bother.

But, humans , or all things living, have the tendency and the "want" to share their life with people even if some claim that they dont like the "attention". We are all attention seekers and we dont usually care about giving out as much attention as we would rather have...

Social beings = Human. Social Networking sites = Human's Life/Style.

I don't over-use my social site access. But, i dont under-use it either. It's got it's plus points, for instance, it's a great way to stay in touch with people overseas. Or people in other cities of the same country, It's also a nice way of knowing what the other people you know in general are doing professionally (and personally)..

Some people do get addicted to social networking. Some, have their moods and whims based on what's going on around their pages...
It's a funny thing to observe in people actually. But it's also a great feeling to see and observe how the world connects as one, or CAN connect as one on these sites.

Friends and Friends of Friends and Families and their Relatives. One can usually trace someone's entire social and non-social life through these sites.

Do we like to live life as an open book?
Most of us do. If we didn't, there really would'nt have been an IT boom at all...

Needless to say, little Miss Birthday girl spent the next few hours giving out generous "thank you's" to all the people who had wished her online.

Yes, at the end of it, it was the number of people who wished her that mattered most!

Probably just like you.

Or me.