If I could talk to you…

I lie here watching you. Every day. Day after day. I will watch you the day after today too and the one after tomorrow too. It’s what I do. Maybe it’s what I like to do. You amaze me. The way you understand me, the way you know when I’m hungry or the way you give a simple hug. Or the way you understand that sometimes I just need to run wild and be free. We all do! 

I only wish I could talk to you. I don’t even know if you’d take the time to listen but I can always wish for things. Not every wish comes true. But most do. Don’t lose hope!

I love how you walk with me, right by my side, every day, day after day. I cherish how you patiently wait while I walk slowly, taking in the sights and sounds around me. I like watching the birds. I love watching the dogs on the road and how they run about or laze around under the bright afternoon sun. I love the flowers by the side of the road and the beautiful waves of the ocean's waters...

I remember the days we hung out all the time. I was younger then. I had the energy to do things with you. Now, I’ve none. Time made you change too, or maybe you didn't but circumstances did. 

You eventually stopped hanging out with me as much. You were hardly home. I missed you when you weren’t.

If only I could talk to you. I’d tell you so much. Where would I start? I would probably start by telling you I love you. I think we don’t say it enough to the people we care about and we've stopped showing it too. Not only did you forget how to live, you forgot how to love. You’re going too fast. What you’re aiming for is the sky, you all aim for the sky these days. Because you'll want everything.

But what about what’s right here on the ground. Do you know the names of the flowers down our road? Or the smell of the trees in front of your yard? I know it all because this is my home.What about me? When was the last time we just sat together? 

You’ll get what you want in life. It all falls into place eventually, that’s how the cycle works. Yes, you have to try but you don’t have to stop living when you’re out there trying!

If this is what you call life, I’m better off! When was the last time you slept peacefully? When was the last time you didn't wake up only to rush again? Can’t you take time off? What’s the worst that could happen? Everything can wait.

I wish you could understand these things as I stare at you day after day, watching and seeing. I wish I could tell you that I saw you cry the other day. I wish I could tell you I understand your worries. I have strong senses! I wish I could tell you that the other day when you came home laughing, I wanted to jump, scream and hug you with joy!

As I lie here, watching you, the light shines bright. We've come a long way. 12 wonderful years. I wish I could say…’and counting’…

I was wrong, everything doesn’t wait. Time is limited. But things happen. I have to go now. I will be at peace when I do. Can you give me that? You've given me so much already!

I’m sorry I have to leave. If I could tell you one last thing, I would say, please learn to live again...

  

 In memory of Toffee