Dear Indian Husbands of Today

Dear Indian Husbands of Today,

This is not the 1950’s. Unlike my grandmothers and those before her, I chose to marry you and was not forced into a lifelong relationship with you.

I am just as and maybe more educated than you are. I chose to put that on a backseat and be dependent enough on you to suit your ego. I chose to make the house we live in a home and cook for you and keep you well.

By doing all this, I may have forgotten who I really am. You want a woman who is smart and beautiful AND who listens to everything you have to say.

Tell me, how often have you actually paid attention to the things I want to say or the wishes I have? Yes, maybe you do sometimes. But do you allow me to pursue what I want without making me feel guilty about it? Do you allow me to live my life the way I want without asking me questions about who will cook and clean for you while on the same hand, you yourself will ensure you pursue what you want in life because you are the ‘MAIN’ bread earning member in this family?

I let you be the main bread earning member. Do not doubt for a moment that if I hadn't married you and decided to put my desires in the backseat of this car called married life, you would not be the sole bread winning member.

I let you be this and much more. You bought me clothes and let me use your money to keep myself. That is because I allowed it to be that way. Do you honestly think that if I put myself out there in the real world I won’t be at par with you or maybe higher?

This is not the 1950’s. Your male ego needs to soften or grow up. A woman is just as capable and always was and always be. Our only drawback is that the Indian society had put us (as a gender) on the backseat for too long and raised us telling us we should be a certain way.

Before you got married, did your parents ever bother lecturing you on how to keep a wife? Ours did. They told us how to behave, what to say, what not to say, what to wear and how to treat our in laws. Yours probably didn’t even bother to tell you to treat us as equals.

This is not the 1950’s. In fact, my grandmothers may have been smarter than my grandfathers. But they were just never allowed to show it. That’s how our traditional society raised women, to bear their husbands and their husband’s families with a smile on their face.

Do we not have parents too? If you expect us to live with your parents and nurture and look after them, don’t we wish to do the same with the ones who actually spent their lives raising us? Yes, we do. But because the unspoken laws of tradition were laid down back then, you choose to follow it because it suits you.

Grow up dear husbands of today. Your sisters, your wives and your mother’s desire much more than they let on. They are the ones who allowed you to be who you are or how you are today.

Don’t push the Indian woman of today down. She may have a child, a husband and a family to look after. Your duty is to look after her and her life’s dreams. Your duty is not just to ensure she makes you a good home and caters to you and your family. 

Grow up Indian husbands of today. And Open your Eyes.