Who is going to shape the groom?

India as a country is a paradox of sorts. Not only that, it is also a juicy mix of extremes. While the blossoming metros like Bombay (presently, called Mumbai), Bangalore or Delhi seem to thrive on rich international standards and tastes, the majority of the country rests entwined in it's own past glory, traditions and life.

As a thorough Bombay girl (I spent most of my life in Bombay), my eyes were never accustomed to the "real" India as people call it. I always thought that India was what I saw:  new restaurants, thriving international businesses, towering sky scrapers....

And then, after my marriage I realized that I was sadly and ignorantly mistaken. India is still old in a lot of ways. And old doesn't necessarily mean bad. As I travelled along the nation's rich countryside and smaller towns, I realized that what I saw in the movies were actually truly. People still live in mud houses. Some cities  do not have sky scrapers. The charpai is still a common bedroom accessory. And, there are several youth who have never seen a McDonald's burger.

A country's development and progress cannot be measured by the hip element of its metropolitan youth, that is for certain. While a majority of my native land lives in the old days, a majority still relies on past lifestyles too.

Sadly though, when it comes to most Indian marriages, whether its a developed metro here or small town, most attitudes are the same. When a girl, a daughter is about to be married off, every elder in the family, especially the elderly women in that family, from the grandmothers to the aunts, the grand aunts and even the mother's friends counsel the girl on what she must and mustn't do, what she must and mustn't say, how she must and mustn't cook etc. Not to forget the evergreen advice given to a mature girl, "never question your elders, especially in-laws."

A lot goes into "grooming" a prospective bride in India. Typical Indian families actually start the grooming when a girl is merely 10 or 12. This ridiculous concept is not just followed in the villages or smaller towns in India, it is followed in the major cities too...the ones where multi-national companies thrive.

So much effort goes into the making of an Indian bride, right from her attitude to her dress sense to her behaviour and ability to bear children that no one remembers to shape the groom. This is probably why a majority of Indian grooms end up misbehaving with their new wives. A girl is told to practically worship the ground her in-laws and husband walk on. Why? And for what?

It would honestly make so much sense to shape both, a new bride and groom equally. In the old days, women were expected to stay home while the man became the main bread winner. This is the only reason men were put on a pedestal back then. It's high time that pedestal were broken down into teeny tiny pieces, because in this world, a woman, any woman is fit to play the role of anything and anyone.

Someone once said that the development of a nation can only be measured by the state of it's female population. Well then, unfortunately for us we have more than miles to go. It's sad that in a country where we worship Indian Goddesses like Durga, Kali, Saraswati - we still torment young women and wives.

Maybe we should start with the simple things, like grooming a groom to be a man and not spoilt boy. Maybe, for a change, we should shape our future grooms into modest young men.

Cause till there is a concrete answer to the question 'Who is going to shape the groom?", things will remain the same.

Let your things muti-task for you!

As a young (no matter what age I will be, I will always refer to myself as young) married woman - a lot of my thoughts revolve around how to maintain or rather do up my house in a better way, every day. Its a girl's prerogative after all to dress up tables with cute looking table cloths and to get fancy curtains stitched every now and then.

A pretty home makes us feel beautiful. Its in our DNA.

Alternately, women are also known to look for ways to reduce wastage. Wastage regarding food, water, money etc. Most women feel uncomfortable with the thought of splurging unnecessarily. This explains why it is so easy for us to feel guilty when we shop for ourselves.

A few weeks ago, when I got one of my brand new bedsheets washed (after using it only once) I was hurt to find that it had shrunk. Well, it didn't make me too upset cause someone had given it to me as a gift and I guess they hadn't much bothered with the quality. Anyway, the fact that something new would never fit the bed again was a little unnerving. Instead of just throwing it away though, I decided to keep it in a corner (again, something most women do) to figure out another use for it.

A few days later, it suddenly struck me that my shapeless bed sheet can be modified to be used as tablecloths - for tables of various sizes.

And why not? A recent visit to my favourite clothing and furnishin store - FabIndia inspired the idea. A simple (albeit pretty) tablecloth there was priced at over 400/- Indian Rupees. It's not like 400/- is a steep price or anything for me. But, on second thoughts (again, only women think twice before buying something) it seemed a waste, Why pay 475/- rupees (to be precise about the price) on something I was going to eat on and probably drop food on too. It really seemed a waste.

So, here's what I did with my shapeless pink and green bed sheet (weird colour combination, I know):

--I got it cut to the size of various uncovered tables around the house, got the borders stitched and voila made myself matching tablecloths that follow a similar pattern across the house. Uniformity is after all a key design element - isn't it?

The great part of this is the cloth didn't go to waste. And furthermore, I got soo many table cloths out of it! A picture of what one of those tablecloths looks like is given below!

Here are a few other ideas through which you can make your things multi-task for you:

Old Cups:

--You can turn your old cups into pencil / pen stands! If you are a woman, use them to store your daily use eyeliner / eye pencil or even combs. It will make it easier to access your things when you're in a rush.

Old Saucers:

--You can always stylishly arrange your old saucers around your music system and store cd's atop it. It may not look fancy, but it sure will look neat.

Old Dupattas:

If you have any old, worn out dupattas, before throwing them away see if you can use them as cushion covers or mini-pouches!  You will of course have to get them stitched accordingly, but that doesn't take time.

Old Wine Bottles:

If you have a couple of wine or champagne bottles you can explore the option of turning them into colourful vases or candle stands. How? Well, you will need the help of a professional glass manufacturer. Once you find one - ask him to use his special glass cutting knife to cut the bottle (to get rid of the bottle's neck). When you are left with the base of the coloured bottle you can use it for several things, to put candles and light them, to put pens in, to place a few flowers....

Old or worn out costume jewellery:

Women are known to have an assortment of jewellery, from real gold, real silver pieces to even costume jewellery or as we like to call it - Junk jewellery. But, we also tend to get sick of our jewellery every now and then (especially the junk jewellery). So what do you do with them? You can't throw jewellery away so you may as well use it to accessorize your things! You can for instance string an old chain or necklace on the zip of a bag and style it a bit. Use old pendants too to make your purses and bags look unique by stringing them around the zips). You can even use your old jewellery to style your clothes! Stitch old earrings on plain coloured tees for instance.

My Mother, My best Friend

My Mother, My best Friend

The first person I ever saw, and still the one I seek,

Every single day, she knows me, who I was and what I want to be.

She lives in my heart and is my mind,

She is the one that makes life worthwhile.

She raised me to be, the best I can and she made me believe in life and my dreams.

We share everything, our secrets and tales,

We love talking for hours, on the phone or face to face.

She knows what to do, when I feel down.

She knows what I need when no one is around.

She gives me hope, a reason to believe.

That some relationships are pure, simple and truly sweet.

She is not just a friend, she is everything to me.

She is my mother. The only strength I seek.

She is like my best friend, nothing in between.

To run with you

Sometimes I want to run,
Run away with you.

Run away so far,
Where everything is fresh like dew...

Sometimes I wish I could fly,
Fly away with you,
Fly away so high,
I'd touch the bright blue sky.

Sometimes this life isn't right,
Nothing feels alright,
Sometimes wishes turn to stars
Just within reach but yet afar.

I wish that I could fly,
Or run like a shooting star.
I wish you'd run away with me,
Like I want to with you.

Sometimes escape feels so right.
It seems so much better than the do's and dont's of life.
If only I could run,
Or fly away with you.

Ferrari ki Sawari

India's obsession with cricket and fast cars is synonymous with its obsession for weddings and grandeur. Everyone wants to feel like a Raja, at least once in a way.

Ferrari ki Sewari is a sweet, funny, down to earth flick about a not so well to do Parsi family trying to get by in life...but when one of the family members - a young boy of 8 shows extreme talent and love for cricket, the father goes to any level to support his child's dreams financially and emotionally.

A story set in the middle of modern day Mumbai, the film captures the love of a parsi father and his determination to watch his son succeed. From stealing Sachin Tendulkars red Ferrari for money to teaching his child traffic values and ethics that none of us follow anymore, Sharman Joshi plays his role well, even diligently. Boman Irani does complete justice to his role of a brooding parsi old man who sits in front of the tv passing cynical remarks all day.

The story keeps one captivated although it stretches towards the end, probably to cater to the Indian audiences need for unnecessary drama. Eventually, all's well that ends well and the little 8 year old does collect enough money to go the cricket haven of the world - Lords for a coaching camp.

Vidya Balan's guest dance role was cheap and out of place..but again, what is a Bollywood movie for the masses without an item song.

To sum it up - wouldn't hurt to watch it. And it wouldn't be a waste of time...