Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I knew where I wanted to go but I didn’t know how to get there


I currently live in a city I haven’t always lived in. It’s a nice city. It has its quirks, like most things and many of us do. I can’t say I love it here but I definitely love it more than some of the places I've had the opportunity of living in.

Like most visitors or new inhabitants of a city, I rely heavily on the public transport system to get around. There’s an entire assortment of choices when it comes to public transport here, you can opt for those cute little three wheeler autos, cabs and even the bus. The three wheeler autos are my preferred choice because you don’t often have to wait for it (like a bus) and it shields you enough from the harsh sun.

I live in one corner of the city which doesn't offer much socially but which has the basics a normal lifestyle needs. One actually doesn't have much to complain about here if one chooses not to.

I work in the other end of the city and commuting across the city is now a habit for me, its part of my life. Working at thus so far a distance helped me understand the city’s roads better. Not that I know every nook and corner of the city, but I definitely knew how to get by. It’s important to know how to get by, in every phase of your life, if nothing else.

I had to return from work the other day and as always hailed the nearest three wheeler auto I could find. I usually settle back in the backseat with my music in an attempt to enjoy the long ride back. This day, my auto driver decided to keep my mind on its toes because he chose to take a different route.

After having explored 3 different routes to get me from where I stay to where I needed to go every day, I had honed in on one that seemed the shortest, safest and quickest.

The minute my new auto driver of the moment turned right where I thought he should have turned left, my senses peaked. I considered hollering and asking him which route he was taking when something inside me stopped me. That same something told me to watch and observe where exactly this route although new could lead me.

See, the thing is, I’m new to the city. I knew where I had to go but I didn't exactly know how to get there.

I sat upright and totally alert while my auto driver of the moment swerved through the heavy traffic in the sweltering heat. I watched and tried to place where I was by thinking of the map of the city in my head. But I had no idea. 

Although, if directions came into play, I at least knew I was heading toward where I had to be.

Halfway through the journey when I still couldn't identify where I was, I had to fight the urge to ask him which route he was using and whether it was the right one. Again, my inner voice won and I kept quiet.

As I sat there looking out, I suddenly realized that I had entered an area I was familiar with. I finally knew where I was and I could place everything around me. I started relaxing a little and let go of my inhibitions as the roads seemed familiar once again and the surroundings seemed like home. I knew where I wanted to go but I didn't know how to get there. But I eventually found my way. Or the way found me. I think that’s what important too in the end. To know where you have to go. It won’t matter if you don’t know how to get there, as long as you begin the journey.



Saturday, March 14, 2015

How Long Do I Have?

I came across the story of Paul Kalanithi just today, during a week that didn't seem to be at its best.

It's truly humbling to see how many people around you succumb to a variety of terminal illnesses. Medical science has a place in our world because of illness.
Cancer is one of the real world's biggest scare and we've reached a point in our race where every five families you may come across will have an average of one cancer survivor.

If Paul Kalanithi could write about the inevitable knowing he had little time - I look at it as a blessing.

It's always about the way you perceive things. If I were told I didn't have too much time left, would I still be doing the things I do?

It's like a jolt. A shake. Everyone needs it at some point in their life but not everyone gets it. Your jolt doesn't have to be news of impending death. It could be anything that brings back that once known feeling of passion that you have now conveniently forgotten about because of your day to day tasks.

We all strive but when were we last content? Passionate? Worry-free? Or in peace?

If I knew how much time I had left, I'd have planned things differently. Not because I was running out of time but because I'd know those were the things I needed to do most. The important things that without a deadline did take and do still take a backseat today.

I look at 'knowing' as a blessing. If I knew I had to go in a week or month or year, I might consider giving up work and taking off on an endless travel journey. That's because I wouldn't need to save for an emergency or old age anymore.

It's just the way you perceive things at the end of a Long day.

But in all honesty, if I told you that you had just a week to live - what would you do first?